Shanghaied
by BlueTiger321
Summary: Parody of a SpongeBob SquarePants episode. Spike and Pinkie Pie are forced to scare ponies for Queen Chrysalis, but all they do is make fools of themselves.


Shanghaied

BlueTiger321: Hello, everyone, and thank you for selecting my story. After a while of thinking, I've decided that my next story shall be a parody of a _SpongeBob SquarePants_ episode featuring characters from _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_. I'm doing it mostly because after my _Dumb & Dumber_ fanmake I felt that I had to cleanse my soul, plus I know some readers who enjoy my SpongeBob parodies a lot would like to read a new one. And in getting into the spirit of Halloween, it's going to be the episode _Shanghaied_. So, anyway, here's the legal stuff: the _SpongeBob SquarePants_ franchise and episodes are property of Nickelodeon Studios, and _My Little Pony_ and all characters used in this story are property of Hasbro. And I apologise in advance if I happen to make anyone out of character. I hope you all enjoy yourselves and are left with your sides aching from laughter (and I mean that in a good way).

* * *

In an undisclosed location in Canada, it was a pleasant scene as birds chirped and the sun shined down on a beautiful suburban area. It is in this place where the author of the story lived. The narrator said, _"And now, it's time for _BlueTiger's Pick_, hosted by one of the _My Little Pony's _fan, BlueTiger321!"_

The door to the author's house opens up and out steps BlueTiger321, a tall, blonde-haired, goateed, hazel-eyed man wearing a black tank top, blue jeans and white sneakers. He addresses the readers with a smile on his face since he was about to present to them with something spectacular.

"Hello, fellow fanatics," he said. "Welcome to _BlueTiger's Pick_. Why don't you come with me? I'm cooking up a real treat for you today."

BlueTiger walks into his home and invites the readers to enter. Stepping up to an area with a red curtain, he directs his hands over to a sign hanging next to him that features the title of the story.

"You're gonna read my latest story, _Shanghaied_, a parody of one of my favourite _SpongeBob SquarePants_ episodes with characters from _My Little Pony_ as the cast! Ta-da!"

In the kitchen of the house, a puppet of a Turkish-Persian cat stands by itself with a displeased look on its face, if it was noticeable. This was BlueTiger's sidekick, Dusty.

(A/N: This is a homage to my cat, Dusty, who passed away over two years ago.)

"Boring!" said Dusty.

The author stood next to the cat puppet and gave it an annoyed glare. After all the times they were together he thought they'd get along more easily, but that was unfortunately untrue; they just seemed to get worse and worse.

"Well," said the man and pointed to the cat. "If it isn't my less-than-amusing sidekick, Dusty the Cat. Dusty, say hello to the nice readers."

"Meow! I'm being held here against my will. Help!"

Hearing what his cat said enraged the author, so he leaned in and growled at him to silence his cries for help. So Dusty ran off and headed for the living room.

"Dusty, come back!" said BlueTiger321.

The author walked into the living room to search for his cat so they could do the introduction together. "Dusty? Dusty? Where'd you go?"

Just then, the man noticed a huge black tube in the middle of the living room. Knowing that his cat would get into all kinds of strange places, he figured that was a likely place to start, so he crawled into the tube to search for Dusty.

(A/N: For the record, that part's actually true! My cat used to get himself into all kinds of weird places all over the house! XD)

"Dusty?" said the author. "You in there, buddy?" He soon crawled farther into the tube and kept calling out to his cat. "Dusty? Dusty?"

Dusty wasn't in the tube, which was actually a cannon. The cat stood next to the fuse and ignited it while his owner was still crawling around inside it.

"Meow! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" said Dusty.

Hearing the sound of the fuse igniting soon made the man realise where he was, so he thrashed his legs around to get out before it was too late. "Get me out of here, you stupid cat!" he shouted.

The cannon was aimed through an open window and fired, sending the author flying through the air screaming and covered with soot. His soaring came to an end when he crashed through the roof of another house, which made it tilt to its side and sink into the ground like it was a sinking ship.

But BlueTiger321 wasn't fazed by the minor setback. He came back into his house with a smile on his face still covered in soot and his body smoking. He looked back at the readers and said, "Well, enjoy the story!"

* * *

It was a beautiful day in Equestria. The sun was setting over Ponyville and changed the sky to a deep orange. All the ponies were headed home to get their rest so they could get the next day started.

In one part of Ponyville was a baby dragon yawning and stretching underneath a tree. His purple scales complemented his green spikes and green eyes, and he opened his mouth wide to show his small, pointed teeth. This dragon went by the name of Spike, and he was the assistant to the unicorn Twilight Sparkle.

Spike scratched his back after his long nap and saw next to him was what he had brought along with him: a bowl of cereal filled with gems that were meant for dragons to eat. Looking down at the box, Spike remembered that he was on his way to bring it back to the tree where he lived with Twilight when he stopped to rest. But his eyes were more focused on the words on the lower right corner of the box that indicated a toy inside.

"Mmmm…" said Spike. Then he read the words on the cereal box. "Gem-O. With One of 8 Essential Prizes Inside!"

Spike knew that he should've really taken the box back to his home, but the thought of getting the prize was just too tempting, so he opened up the box, dumped out all the gems and threw away the box. Then he sifted through the pile to find his prize only to find nothing. He showed a surprised face at it but then figured that the prize was probably still inside the box, so he stood up and walked toward it. The prize would be his soon, he thought. But when he shook out the box again, all that came out was a few more gems and a cloud of dust. Spike narrowed his eyes in disappointment to think that he hadn't gotten his prize like he thought he would.

Upon hitting the box, Spike was suddenly knocked off to the side when a giant ship's anchor came crashing down in front of him.

"Holy cow!" Spike said in a surprised tone.

The little dragon then ran off to tell somepony what happened when he noticed the house that sat right next to the tree, and he knew who lived in it.

"Cranky!" shouted Spike. "The sky had a baby for my cereal box! Cranky!"

Upon hearing his name being called out, the occupant of the house stuck his head out the window, which was an old brown donkey with blue eyes and a black wig on his head. This was Cranky Doodle Donkey, or Cranky as some called him, and he, like his namesake, was feeling cranky that someone was bothering him.

"Cranky, the sky had a baby!" said Spike, and pointed to the anchor.

"That's not a baby, that's a giant anchor," said Cranky. "Now go away!"

Just then, a pink Earth pony came to greet Spike. Her mane and her tail were a deeper shade of pink than her coat and were curled, and her eyes were a brilliant sky blue. Like every pony in Equestria, she had what was called a cutie mark on her flanks, and hers was three balloons (two blue balloons with yellow strings, and one yellow balloon with a blue string). This pony was named Pinkie Pie, or Pinkie as some ponies called her.

"Hey, Spike," said Pinkie Pie, "the sky had a baby!"

"I know," said Spike. "What do you think we should name it?"

Cranky folded his front legs and narrowed his eyes as all he wanted was to be left alone, and the dragon's and pony's presence were making it impossible.

"How about…" said Pinkie Pie.

"Why don't you two go climb its anchor rope?" Cranky interjected. "I'm sure it goes somewhere far away."

All of a sudden, the anchor moved from its spot and crashed into the side of Cranky's house. Cranky was frightened at first but then he was angry.

"Now look what you've done!" he shouted at Spike and Pinkie.

"We didn't do it, Cranky," said Spike. "My claws and her hooves are clean."

"Clean," Pinkie said in agreement.

To show they were serious, the dragon held out his claws and the pony held out her hooves and they sparkled in the light.

Cranky was on the roof of his house and held on to the anchor's rope with the intention of finding whoever was responsible for wrecking his house. "Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this thing," he said.

"Wouldn't that be the top?" Spike corrected.

Spike and Pinkie Pie both smiled up at the donkey and Cranky merely narrowed his eyes and disregarded the statement. He then began to climb up the rope.

Feeling curious, Spike shouted, "Cranky, wait!" He ran into the house and headed for the roof where he climbed after Cranky.

"Cranky!" shouted Pinkie Pie. She, too, entered the house and climbed after her two friends.

_A Few Inches Later…_

Spike, Pinkie Pie and Cranky were still climbing up the rope and going higher into the sky. That's when the dragon saw they were nearing the end, so he pointed up and said, "Ship!"

"Spike," said Pinkie, "how long are you gonna stay in your little fantasy world?"

"No, look! A giant ship!"

The others all looked up at the night sky and saw the rope lead to an old, wooden ship that appeared to be floating in mid-air. What was truly weird about it was that it was glowing green and on the largest sail was a pony's skull with two crossbones underneath it.

"Great. Let's go," said Cranky. "Now I can finally give this anchor-dropper a piece of my mind."

"I don't know, Cranky," said Spike. "That ship has a spooky green glow around it."

"That's probably because its good-for-nothing owner is too lazy to clean. Or drop his anchors in the right place." With that, Cranky continued his climb up the rope.

"Cranky, wait!" said Spike. And so he and Pinkie continued their climb after the donkey.

Cranky eventually made his way onto the ship's deck, and he wasted no time in trying to find the owner so he could express his displeasure. "All right, who owns this crate?" he said.

Spike and Pinkie Pie also made their way onboard and saw Cranky approach the back of the ship where a door was placed and a sign with the words _Owner_ hung over it.

The donkey knocked on the door and shouted, "Come on out! I wanna file a complaint!"

Spike looked around the ship and suddenly got a terrible vibe from its eerie glow and the sail with the pony skull and crossbones flapping in the wind. It soon came to him that there was only one being in all of Equestria who would pilot such a vessel, and yet he couldn't figure out who it was.

"Doesn't this place seem familiar?" he asked.

"I don't know," replied Pinkie Pie. "Why?"

"I don't know. Doesn't it just kinda ring a bell?"

Cranky saw that his knocking was getting him nowhere, so he continuously rang the doorbell next to the door.

"Yes," said Pinkie.

Spike rubbed his chin with his claw and said, "I know who owns this boat. I just can't place the name." The little dragon then walked off past a pair of barrels that had the words _Property of Queen Chrysalis_ written on the sides.

Cranky went back to knocking on the door, and then he fell to the deck on his back when the door burst open and out came a pony-like being with a dark grey coat and a dark cerulean mane. She looked to be like the royal ponies of Equestria, but her wings, horn, mane, tail and hooves all looked like they had been punctured as various holes were in them, which gave her a much more scary appearance. Her deep harlequin eyes of blue and green stared down at Cranky and she let out a terrifying howl. This being was Queen Chrysalis, the ruler of the changelings.

"Aaahhh—oooh—aaahhh!" said Chrysalis.

Spike and Pinkie Pie were oblivious to the appearance of Chrysalis, so they continued their conversation. "No, no," said Spike, "it's not 'Aaahhh—oooh—aaahhh!'"

Cranky was shaking with fear while the queen introduced herself.

"I am Queen Chrysalis!"

"That's it!" Spike shouted in revelation. "Cranky, this ship belongs to the Red Pony!"

Chrysalis was surprised by the cry, so she summoned forth lightning using her magical powers and shouted, "Who dare disturbs Queen Chrysalis in her own lair?"

"It's Cranky—he wants to complain to you," answered Spike.

Chrysalis leaned down towards Cranky and made more lightning flash in the sky as she expected the donkey to speak to her. But Cranky was so afraid of the changeling queen that he stuttered.

"I—I—I—" said Cranky. "No, I—I—I don't."

"But what about all that stuff about her having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?" said Spike.

Queen Chrysalis was taken aback by the statement, so she arched an eyebrow and looked at Cranky with a menacing glare.

Laughing sheepishly, Cranky said, "I never said that."

"Insulting the queen's ship is worse than insulting her mother," said Chrysalis.

Thinking about what she said, Spike said, "No, wait. It was her mother you said was dirty, not her ship."

Queen Chrysalis had heard enough, so she covered one nostril of her snout and breathed out a jet of green flame on Cranky, causing him to cry out in agony. When it was over, Cranky sat on the deck with his body burned.

"Ow," said the donkey.

The queen then looked at Spike and Pinkie Pie and said, "You're next!" She then covered one of her nostrils and was about to breathe out another flame.

A scream came out of both Pinkie Pie and Spike at the thought of being burned, so they jumped off the ship to safety. As they continued to fall, they felt relief come to them.

"That was a close one," they said in unison.

The two finally reached the bottom, but then they looked and saw they were back on Queen Chrysalis's ship.

"Welcome back," said Chrysalis.

Spike and Pinkie Pie were so freaked out by returning to Chrysalis's ship after they leapt off it that they screamed once more. Spike even bulged out his eyes while Pinkie's head changed into a train whistle and exhaled a loud screech. So the two of them leapt off the ship again, hoping that they would land back in Ponyville.

"That was a closer one," said Spike.

But to their dismay, they landed back on the ship and knew that it was due to the queen's magic.

"Welcome back!" Chrysalis said with a smile.

The dragon and pony once again screamed and leapt off the ship. Cranky watched the two fall off and then looked up at Queen Chrysalis.

"Hey!" he said. "How come when they act up, all they get is the welcome wagon? If you ask me, it's—"

Cranky was forced to stop when Chrysalis breathed another jet of flame on him for his insolence. He screamed in pain and was left with his body covered in burns and his eyes wide.

By that time Spike and Pinkie Pie returned to the ship once again by the queen's magic. Chrysalis was now getting tired of the two trying to escape, even though she thought it was amusing, so she decided to put an end to it.

"So, are you going to try that again?" said the queen.

"Probably," replied Pinkie Pie.

Out of rage, Chrysalis fired green lasers from her eyes and struck Cranky, forcing him to shout in pain again and get covered in bruises.

"How about now?" said the changeling.

"Um…" said Pinkie Pie.

Before the pony could finish her response, Cranky covered her mouth and said, "No, no, they're not!" The only reason he did it was to spare himself from more unnecessary pain. He sighed when nothing happened, but then Chrysalis blasted him again with a laser and made him cry out for her amusement. The donkey was left injured again and his eyes narrowed.

Queen Chrysalis finally got to business, so she brought up a book and made it levitate with a green aura. "Now, listen," she said, and then placed a monocle on her right eye. She then cleared her throat, opened the book and said, "Whosoever sets hoof on Queen Chrysalis's ship, uninvited or otherwise, shall become minions of her changeling army forever." The book was then closed until she opened it again and said, "And, uh, ever."

"Will we be getting business cards?" Cranky said in sarcasm.

"Silence!" shouted the queen and blasted the donkey with another laser to cause him pain for interrupting. "You're my minions now, and our job is to sail around Equestria and frighten ponies to steal their energy. It'll be gruelling, mind-numbing, and repetitive, just like… daytime television."

Spike and Pinkie Pie looked up with smiles on their faces at the thought of scaring ponies since it would be fun, even though they knew that Queen Chrysalis was evil and did horrible things to their friends. The only one who wasn't pleased with the idea was Cranky since he had better things to do with his time than being someone's slave.

"Now you listen here, Missy," said the donkey. "If you think I'm gonna spend more than five minutes on this dumpster, then you're crazy! I mean, look at this place—it's disgusting!" To prove his point, Cranky picked up a dirty pair of underwear that was lying on the deck.

Queen Chrysalis sighed at hearing the donkey's rambling, so she figured of a way to end her torment.

Cranky continued: "Whoever told you that hanging oil lamps next to hardwood panelling was a good—" He let out a terrified shriek when Chrysalis lifted him up with her magic. "Oh, now what? I suppose you're gonna show me…" He looked up to see Chrysalis bring him over to a spot where a giant zipper appeared to be floating in mid-air where she unzipped it with her hoof. "Oh, oh, gee, that's very nice. What is this, some kind of magic act?"

The donkey then screamed when he was flung into the open fly where he fell down and continued screaming in a horrible dimension where hideous beasts looked at him from every angle. Cranky kept falling into the vortex screaming for his life, thinking that it was the end for him. Spike and Pinkie Pie looked on in horror to see their friend be lost to them until Chrysalis zipped up the dimension.

"Would anyone else like to enter the Fly of Despair?" Chrysalis said with a smirk.

Thinking that they didn't want to end up like Cranky, Spike said, "No! We know our place now, Queen Chrysalis!"

"We'll do anything you say," said Pinkie Pie.

Queen Chrysalis was finally glad to see some cooperation. "Then for starters, you can swab the deck." She then magically brought over a mop and bucket that she gave to the pony and dragon.

"Look, Pinkie Pie—a real, live changeling mop," said Spike.

"And I got this hat," said Pinkie.

"Listen!" shouted Chrysalis, forcing the two to look at her in surprise. "We're heading down to Ponyville tonight for a little haunting spree"—she then flexed her leg to make her best muscle—"so I want this ship to look good and scary."

The statement was too confusing for the two, so they decided to ask what was meant.

"You mean you want it to look good _and_ scary," said Spike.

Pinkie Pie, still thinking the bucket was a hat, placed it on her head.

"Well, I think we could probably—"

"No, no," Pinkie interjected. "I think she means she wants it to look so good that it's scary."

"Or maybe that by looking so scary, you forget it doesn't look good."

"I don't get it."

Queen Chrysalis brought a hoof to her forehead and turned away for being witness to her new minions' foolishness. How hard was it for them to follow a simple order?

"Look, it's easy," said Spike. "It simply means that—"

"Never mind what it means!" shouted Chrysalis. "I just want it to look scary! That's it!" She calmed down and explained what she meant. "You know, mold growing on the ceilings, bugs in the sink."

"So you don't want it to look good?" asked Spike.

Chrysalis, tired of the idiocy, made lightning flash and shouted, "Get moving!"

The dragon and pony knew not to enrage the queen any further, so they wiped the deck with the mop and bucket and sang a chantey. _"A sailor's life's a wonderful life, a wonderful life for sure!"_

* * *

It was later on in the evening as Queen Chrysalis's ship sailed closer to Ponyville. With Spike and Pinkie Pie as her minions, she would get all the energy she needed by scaring all the ponies half to death. The queen stood on the deck with Spike at her side and Pinkie Pie at the wheel. A sense of pride filled her as she looked down on Ponyville and all the helpless ponies.

"What a night this is," said the queen. "Minions, howl with me so that we might set Equestria ablaze with fear!" And with that, Chrysalis let out her howl to start.

Spike came next, but his howl was more of a laugh.

When it came to Pinkie Pie, she said, "Leeda, leeda, leeda, lee!"

Chrysalis let out another howl, then Spike made his laugh, and Pinkie finished with her "Leeda, leeda, leeda, lee!"

It was then time for the queen to make another howl, but Pinkie Pie interrupted her by continuing her own version of a howl. "Loo, leeda, lee, loo, lee, loo!" The queen tried again but Pinkie Pie once again intercepted her. "Oh, lee, bella, lee!"

All were silent on the ship for a few seconds until Chrysalis figured it was enough.

"Uh, that'll do," she said. She looked down at Spike and addressed him in the name she thought befitted him. "Okay, Scaled-One. Since Pink-One's working the navigation, it's up to you to find our first victim." Her horn then glowed while she used her magic to make a telescope appear out of thin air.

"Here, use this spyglass," she said and gave it to Spike.

The little dragon took the instrument and went to the bow of the ship.

"Now hurry up—we're burning moonlight," said Chrysalis.

Spike looked out of the lens and said, "Let's see who we can find." He then set the spyglass on the deck and spun it like a needle. When it stopped he called out to the queen to show he found the first victim to scare. "Your Highness, there's a guy we can scare."

Queen Chrysalis looked on in anticipation to see the first pony to be frightened, but it turned out that Spike was pointing at the minotaur Iron Will. Chrysalis looked skeptically at the minotaur because she knew that scaring him would be difficult, so she instead exhaled a small breath that tilted the spyglass and pointed at the small pony Pipsqueak skipping down the road.

"I had four biscuits, and I ate one. Then I only had three," said Pipsqueak.

"Ah," said Chrysalis, "it does my heart good to see children out after dark." Turning to Pinkie Pie, she gave her next order. "Pink-One, take us behind those rocks."

"Moving behind the rocks!" said Pinkie Pie.

The pink pony turned the ship's wheel over to the rocks that Queen Chrysalis indicated. But since she was inexperienced with driving a ship, she scraped the ship against the rocks and caused the wooden boards to break up along the way.

Spike looked down and also had no idea about how close they were to the rocks but kept encouraging Pinkie Pie. "Keep going! You're good! You're good! You're good! And stop!"

By the time they cleared the rocks the ship's entire bottom was broken off.

"Don't worry, Queen. We'll buff out those scratches," said Spike.

Chrysalis, feeling annoyed about the damage to her ship, sighed and said, "All right, never mind it. Just jump out when I give the signal."

The queen and her minions left the ship and waited in hiding for Pipsqueak. As the little pony galloped down the road with a smile on his face, he was suddenly frightened out of his wits when Queen Chrysalis leapt out from behind a boulder.

"Boo!" shouted the queen and summoned lightning.

Pipsqueak was now scared for his life and felt helpless before the might of the changeling queen.

"Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my minions!" The queen then indicated over to a bush.

A few seconds afterward, Spike and Pinkie Pie slowly came out of the bush with confused looks on their faces.

"Was that the signal?" asked Spike. He and Pinkie went back into the bush while he waved his claw. "Okay, sorry, sorry. J-just do it again."

Chrysalis was annoyed that her minions didn't pay attention but went back to scaring her victim. Summoning more lightning she yelled, "…with the haunting memory of my minions!"

This time Spike and Pinkie Pie were ready. They made _ooh_ sounds and slowly walked out of the bush. To add to the effect, Spike brought his claws together to make his thumbs and index fingers lock up like they were stuck. He brought his claws behind his head and then brought them back out to show them separated.

"How does he do that?" Pinkie Pie said in an eerie voice.

The dragon and pony kept making more _ooh_ noises, but Queen Chrysalis was annoyed for them both since what they did wasn't scary at all but downright embarrassing. It was a failed attempt and she wasn't going to get Pipsqueak's energy so she was forced to give up.

"Get back on the ship," ordered the queen.

Spike and Pinkie Pie walked away wagging their claws and hooves and saying in unison, "It's still a mystery."

"Those guys are dorks," said Pipsqueak.

"Yes, but they're my dorks," said Chrysalis.

* * *

The ship was being piloted by Pinkie Pie again and she still scraped it against rocks and caused more damage. Chrysalis was so annoyed by it that she leaned off the edge with her hoof holding up her head and her eyes narrowed.

"You're good. You're good. You're good," said Spike.

* * *

Elsewhere, the pony Bon Bon trotted down the street alone until she stopped and looked up in fright when lightning flashed around her. She opened her mouth wide and was about to scream when Queen Chrysalis descended in front of her and let out a blood-curdling laugh while a green flame came out of her mouth.

All of a sudden, bubbles appeared behind the queen along with a strange noise.

"Huh?" said Chrysalis.

The queen sneered while Bon Bon smiled when they looked to see Spike blowing bubbles from a bubble wand—even though he also could breathe out fire—and Pinkie Pie bending a metal sheet to make a noise that sounded like thunder. It was another failure to scare a pony.

* * *

The ship sailed through the air with Pinkie Pie still causing damage and Queen Chrysalis still looking annoyed.

"You're good. You're good. You're good," said Spike.

* * *

Big Macintosh ran down the street for his exercise regimen, blissfully unaware of what lie ahead of him. He ran alongside a metal wall but then stopped when he saw a horrid sight. Queen Chrysalis used her magic to go through the wall and frightened Big Macintosh with a terrifying shout along with lightning.

Then there was a loud bang when Spike and Pinkie Pie tried to do the same as the queen but ended up running into the metal wall and made implants of their bodies. Muffled yells were heard as the dragon and pony tried to scare Big Macintosh, who looked on in confusion with Queen Chrysalis. Another failed attempt.

* * *

Pinkie Pie still sailed the ship and caused more damage while Queen Chrysalis had the same expression and had second thoughts about her minions.

"You're good. You're good. You're good," said Spike.

* * *

Mr. Cake shook in fear as Queen Chrysalis laughed down at him. To add to her horrifying appearance, the queen twisted her head around like Regan MacNeil. Both of them then looked at Spike and Pinkie Pie.

They, following the queen's example, smiled and began turning their whole bodies in circles. They spun themselves so fast that it was hard to keep track of them. Then, oddly, they both wore figure skating outfits and were in the middle of an ice rink. They stopped underneath a spotlight, then spun around and skated off into the distance, making another failed attempt at scaring for Queen Chrysalis.

* * *

Back onboard the queen's ship, Spike and Pinkie Pie sat on one of the wooden beds in their bunkroom with their ice skates hanging on the wall. They had such a good time scaring ponies (or what they thought was scaring) that they were eager to see what the queen had in store for them.

"Why do you think Queen Chrysalis asked us to wait in our bunkroom?" asked Spike.

"Maybe she's gonna give us a reward," replied Pinkie.

"Like movie passes?"

"Or an oversized coffee mug!"

The two were so ecstatic of possibly being rewarded that they shook fervently. The door to the room was then opened and in came Chrysalis.

"I've been thinking…" she said, but was furious to see the two shaking the way they did. "Stop bouncing!"

By her order, Spike and Pinkie Pie paused and smiled at the queen.

It then came time for Queen Chrysalis to explain what was going on, so she looked away shyly and then faced them. "Uh, this whole minions-for-eternity thing really isn't working out. It's not really you so much as it is me."

"You're setting us free?" asked Spike.

"Well, actually, I'm just going to eat you. See you at dinner." And with that, Chrysalis left the room and locked the door behind her.

Spike and Pinkie Pie both screamed in fright at the thought of being eaten by the queen, and they felt trapped within her ship with nowhere to go.

"Wait," said Pinkie, silencing her dragon friend. "I have an idea."

"Really?" Spike asked in desperation. "What is it?"

"Let's leave!"

"But the door is locked, and the only way out is through the"—he then pointed to an open doorway where humans walked through a store in a mall—"perfume department!"

Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes in determination, knowing full well that she and Spike dreaded going through a place like that, but it would be the only way for them to escape with their lives. "Let's do it!"

Spike gulped in fright but went along with the pony's suggestion.

So through the perfume department the two ran. Pinkie Pie galloped as fast as she could, but then gagged when a hand sprayed perfume in her face. Spike ran as fast as his little legs would carry him, but he, too, ended up getting sprayed in the face with perfume. Through a cloud of perfume Pinkie galloped, only to end up choking and also getting the annoying smell in her nostrils. Spike tried holding his breath as he ran, but screamed when he took some perfume to his eyes. The two then tried ducking but still got more perfume in their faces. Pinkie Pie then had the solution to wear a gas mask, but a hand reached out to pull off the mask while the other hand sprayed perfume on her. Spike was so frightened that he breathed in perfume through his mouth and choked on it. He then tried a desperate move by jumping over a perfume gust; it worked but he was intercepted by another spray of perfume. The exit was within reach as Pinkie carried an exhausted Spike on her back, and the relief would come when humans would stop spraying them with perfume.

The door to the other side was opened and Spike and Pinkie Pie came out panting on the floor.

"I always hate going in there," said the dragon.

"Yeah," added the pink pony.

The hall was filled with laughter, and Spike recognised it belonging to Queen Chrysalis. "Wait," he said. "Listen."

Both of them looked up to see a shut door in front of them—and then they heard Chrysalis speaking from within the room.

"Dear Diary," said the queen, leaning in her chair and talking into a tape recorder, "I told them I was going to eat them tomorrow. I made up some of that brown sauce my cousin showed me just for the occasion." Using her magic, she then made a white sock from her desk levitate. "It's a good thing I found my dining sock again." She set the sock back on the desk and swirled around in her chair. "Remember the last time I lost my dining sock? I couldn't eat for a whole week."

Spike and Pinkie Pie listened intently by the door. They heard everything about the queen only being able to eat as long as she had that sock, which almost made no sense since she didn't have any feet. That's when they figured out that they could save themselves if they could get a hold of that sock.

Queen Chrysalis continued speaking in her diary: "Yes, sir. Sometimes I wonder how I'd survive if anything should ever happen to—" She stopped and stared wide-eyed at the desk when she saw that her dining sock was gone. Looking up at the window, she saw Spike and Pinkie Pie running away. It then came to her that they stole her sock.

The dragon and pony ran onto the ship's deck while Spike had Chrysalis's sock clutched in his claw. They were almost at the edge when a burst of green light appeared in front of them, forcing them to halt. It was Queen Chrysalis teleporting to their location, and she was furious.

"Give me back my sock!" shouted the queen. "Everyone knows I can't eat without it!"

"Never!" said Spike.

"Okay, then!" Chrysalis then closed one of her nostrils and breathed out a jet of green flame.

Spike saw the flame headed for him, so he held up the sock to let it burn. Seeing this, Chrysalis stopped the flame before it got close and breathed it back into her nostril.

It then turned into a tug-of-war as Chrysalis grabbed one end of her sock while Spike held on to the other end.

"Give it to me!" Chrysalis said demandingly.

"No!" said Spike.

There was then the sound of a rip. "Wait! You're stretching out the elastic!" said the queen.

"It would seem we have reached an impasse," said Pinkie Pie.

Spike and Chrysalis saw that what the pony said was true, so they stopped their tugging and faced each other so they could settle the dispute fairly.

"Pink-One is right," said Chrysalis. "Tell you what. You give me back the sock, and I'll give you three wishes."

"Make it five," Pinkie countered.

"Four."

"Three! Take it or leave it!"

Chrysalis gave the pony an odd stare since it was her original deal and Pinkie just accepted it in such a weak haggle. "Okay," she said. "Three. You get three wishes."

"Wow," said Spike. "Three wishes, Pinkie. Isn't that great?"

"Wishes?" said Pinkie Pie. "I wish we had known that earlier!"

* * *

Inside the queen's quarters on the ship, a clock went back three minutes from 2:03 a.m. to 2:00 a.m. as the first wish had been granted.

* * *

"Okay, you've got two wishes left," said Chrysalis.

Hearing this made Spike look angrily at Pinkie while the pony smiled sheepishly for her mistake.

Shrugging it off, Spike smiled, slapped Pinkie Pie playfully and said, "Well, we still have two more. How exciting! I wish Cranky were here to see this."

* * *

Meanwhile, Cranky still screamed while he continued his descent down the Fly of Despair. The scene around him was a bunch of spaghetti and meatballs while devilish laughter filled his ears.

Right above Cranky's home, a big hole appeared and out he came and crashed through the roof where he landed on his bed. The nightmare was over and he would no longer have to deal with the horrid changeling queen.

"Boy," he said, "I'm glad all that's over."

Without noticing it, Cranky disappeared into thin air.

* * *

Back on the ship, Spike and Pinkie Pie looked to their left to see Cranky appear in front of them.

"Cranky! You're back!" the dragon and pony said in unison.

The donkey landed on the deck and looked around confusedly. He had just gone through a terrible ordeal and was back on the ship where it all started, and he was afraid that he would have to endure it all over again.

"Guess what?" said Spike. "Queen Chrysalis gave us three wishes. Pinkie Pie used the first one, and"—he then realised that he made the mistake of making Cranky come back, so his face changed to show he made a mistake—"I guess I just used the second one."

His voice full of anger, Cranky said, "Well, then the last one you owe me, because you got me back into this mess!"

"Wait! I think it belongs to me!" shouted Pinkie Pie.

The dragon, pony and donkey then began to argue about which one of them should use the last wish. The bickering got so irritating to Queen Chrysalis that she just stood on the deck and kept quiet until she could no longer take it since she had better things to do with her time.

"That's enough!" shouted the queen and silenced the others. "Using my mystic, otherworldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish." She then raised her hoof and recited an old pony's rhyme while she waved it over their heads. "Eeny, meeny, miney, mo, catch a dragon by the toe. If he hollers, let him go… My mother told me to pick the very best one and—You! Are! It!"

The queen's hoof stopped over Spike.

Cranky held the little dragon and talked to him to make sure that he wouldn't waste the wish. "Now think, Spike! We're about to get eaten! What can you wish for to make it so we don't get eaten?"

Spike thought hard about it, considering all the options before him while coming to the best conclusion. He finally made his decision. "Don't worry, Cranky. I've got it all figured out. She won't be able to eat us because I wish that Queen Chrysalis was a vegetarian!"

There was a burst of light as Spike's wish transformed Queen Chrysalis's appearance. She was clothed in a purple tank top with a red headband wrapped around her forehead, and she munched on a stalk of celery. Spike, Pinkie and Cranky all smiled as they saw the wish had worked and she had no desire to eat them anymore. Another flash of light came and made the three of them vanish.

* * *

The dragon, the pony and the donkey appeared after being teleported and looked up to see something large and bushy above them and knew that it was Twilight Sparkle's home from the way it stood out. They had finally gotten off the queen's ship and were safe.

"Hurray!" they all said.

"We're home!" said Spike.

"You did it, Spike! We're safe!" said Pinkie.

Cranky looked down and was shocked to see that their bodies were different: he had turned into a banana, Spike was an apple, and Pinkie Pie was a bunch of grapes. Various other pieces of fruit surrounded them, and what they thought was Twilight's home was actually the top portion of a bunch of blueberries with the leaves still attached to them.

"But why have we been turned into fruits?" asked Cranky.

They all looked up in horror to see they were inside a giant blender. Queen Chrysalis stood next to them as she used her magic to slice a banana over the blender in her gym.

"Hey," said Chrysalis. "I get a wish, too. Fruit is good for my mane." She then whistled to herself as she was getting ready to make her fruit smoothie.

Spike, Pinkie Pie and Cranky screamed in horror when they saw they were still going to be eaten by the queen. They then made the blender hop away from her in a desperate attempt to escape.

"Hey, get back here with that!" Chrysalis shouted angrily, and then chased after her meal.

The dragon, pony and donkey all hoped around the mast of Queen Chrysalis's ship, which was now a VW bus that had a peace sign over the sail amidst a background looking like a lava lamp, while the changeling queen chased after them.

* * *

The story was over, and BlueTiger321 appeared before the readers. "Hey, readers! I'm back!" he said. "I hope you all liked the story, because"—he then leaned in close and narrowed his eyes in rage—"it's time for you to get lost!"

_Please Stand By_

The author then laughed sheepishly since that's not what he wanted the readers to do at all, and he felt silly for ever saying it.

"Sorry, readers," he said. "What I meant to say was it's time for fan mail!" He then held up a party blower and blew into it.

A crowd of people in black and white then shouted, "Hurray!"

"And now," said BlueTiger, "the moment you've all been waiting for! So get ready to blow milk out your nose, 'cause we're gonna open a letter!"

Dusty the Cat then came into the living room with an envelope in his mouth and a lit fuse in his head.

The author, not seeing the fuse, looked at his cat and said, "The envelope please, Dusty." He grabbed it and said, "Thank you, my fine, furry assistant."

"Meow," said the cat. "You're not welcome."

Just then, the author stopped when he thought he smelled smoke.

"Hey, Dusty," said the man, "you smell something?" Looking wide-eyed at his cat, he saw the fuse almost burned away. "Dusty, that fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt!"

"Meow," said Dusty. "I didn't get the memo!"

A loud explosion filled the room with smoke. When it cleared the author stood with his body covered in soot and in some pain while his cat was now bear-skinned as all his fur was blown away. BlueTiger321 then spat out some of Dusty's fur that had gotten into his mouth.

"Well, that's it for _BlueTiger's Pick_," said the author. "Hurray."

The strings that kept Dusty up were so weak from the explosion that they snapped and made him fall to the floor.

**THE END**

* * *

BlueTiger321: Well, that's the end of my story, and I hope you all enjoyed it. So please be sure to read and review and I'll have my next story up just as soon as I can. Until next time, folks.


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